Dookie Swerve

St. Cloud or bust

2008-04-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

I went to St. Cloud, Minnesota for a press check. I flew into Minneapolis, and to rediscover my Edmonton roots, I headed straight for the Mall of America. After the lustre wore off (after about a half hour) I checked out the Walker Art Center, which is worth a visit if you find yourself in the area.

St. Cloud was a lot of waiting around and computing and watching t.v. But I got to watch Can't Buy Me Love again, which is probably one of my favorites. The best part is when he picks up the African dance moves on t.v. But I also loved this part where they're in Home Ec. class, and this dude is wearing an apron without a shirt on:

It was nice to get away from the hustle of New York and St.Cloudians are really nice people. But one thing I won't miss is trying to fall asleep to the sounds of the rowdies in front of the bar across the street, the Red Carpet, and the same flute playing busker who didn't have anything in his repertoire other than a couple top 40s hits that were bad enough on the radio let alone played on the flute.

Chinese Shadow Puppet Show - AMAZING.

2008-04-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

This is great. Early cinema! Fun cos you can see the process behind it. The human heads are my favourite! Shadow Puppets.

(psst... BOOMSHINE!)

2008-04-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

BOOMSHINE.
Whoa. So this is what it feels like to be hooked on an addictive substance like cigarettes or heroin or WEEDS. Warning: if you already hate your job, this might very well reduce your productivity to the level of Kim Jong Il's last approval rating.

WEB NUGS

2008-04-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Six worthy nuggets from the vast interweb.

1. THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE INTERVIEW. EVER.

2. STATEN ISLAND NINJA

3. SNARLS AND BITES

4. CAPTURE THAT MAGIC MOMENT

5. WERNER HERZOG IS INTERVIEWED... AND SHOT!

6. NATURE'S PLATFORM

One for the Lady

2008-03-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

All this talk about human stuff and we've barely touched on a whole third of this household: Lady. It's been a pretty big year for her already...she doubled her roaming/stalking real estate, lost two teeth, celebrated a fourth birthday, and has been diagnosed with a disease contracted from living the trife life. Much to her chagrin, this disease calls for strawberry flavoured meds—the morons who made this stuff only made a formula for children which doesn't go over well with the feline crowd. She chose to starve rather than eat her strawberry infused beef bowl—who wouldn't? We had to resort to shooting the medicine into her mouth from a syringe. This happens in the split second that we can keep her mouth open while trying to keep her head straight and stop her from wiggling out of the straight-jacket-like blanket we wrap her up in. Cats are slippery creatures so some of the meds invariably end up on her face, appearing as though she has applied lipstick. This is an endless source of humour and almost makes medicine time one of the highlights of the day!

Medieval Life Crisis

2008-03-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

Damn.
I'm already 30.
I still live in my home fief.
I can't stand my liege lord. This isn't how I thought my life would turn out. I'm not the serf I thought I would be.

I don't care what Gwendolyn says. I'm buying a catapult.

New year, new apartment!

2008-03-06T20:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, so neither the year nor the apartment is all that new, but blogging about stuff months after it happened is just how we do things around here. We've had a couple months to evaluate our move to the predominantly Polish neighbourhood of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, or PoHo (as coined by Thomas) and the verdict is: We love it! Harlem will always have a place in our hearts, but heck, what's not to love about having more than one room, not being on the 5th floor of a walk up, and enjoying a corner suite facing a park full of drunks? Not to mention the space has done wonders for Lady's disposition, she doesn't attack us nearly as much since we got here. She's even taken up the guitar!

Leap Day: The Gift that Keeps on Leaping

2008-03-04T18:57:00.000-08:00

I'm not big into astrology and I don't pay much attention to solstices or equinoxes. True, I experimented with Crocs, but I've never owned a pair of Birkenstocks. Nevertheless, I would like to acknowledge the celestial event that passed a few days ago. Falling once every four years, like an election or the olympics but without the bumper stickers or steroids, it came and went with hardly any fanfare yet it could very well be the most rewarding holiday of them all.

Leap Day is like the duct tape of calendar events. Without being pretty, it holds things together so they'll keep working another four years. We need this extra day in February every four years to keep our calendar accurate. Leap Day is like the butter knife wedged under the table leg.

To me, the extra day is a reward for three years of hard work. A bonus at the end of a tough winter month that lets us catch our breath before charging ahead into all that March brings. Rent... Spring... the sudden Irishness of friends you could have sworn were Italian. Deadlines are one day farther away. Bus passes last a bit longer. And our landlords pace the hallways, forced to wait yet another day. Work can get intense here in New York, and when you're under the gun it's nice to remind yourself that "at least it's not tomorrow yet". And this year we can thank Leap Day for the extra breathing room.

So I hope some of you celebrated Leap Day last weekend. It even fell on a Friday, party-day all the world over. I was right out there, celebrating, partying... I think I had risotto. I hope some of you partied it up, too. I hope the monthly transit users sat a little higher in their pleather seats. I'm sure somewhere (probably Seattle) there was a bonfire with Wiccan chanting. And while that's a step farther than my Crocs will take me, I applaud your priorities. This year's Leap Day may have passed, but it's not too late to celebrate. Let's welcome this little red-headed step-holiday back into our calendars.

Last stop: Montauk!

2007-11-05T17:25:00.000-08:00

Thomas, Morgan, and ourselves made it out to Montauk on one of the last fine weekends of the fall. We boarded a train at Penn Station to Ronkonkonkonkoma where we picked up Morgan's sister's sweet wheels and drove out as far east as we could before plunging into the Atlantic. We arrived at The Sail Inn of Montauk, a great motel that you should visit if in town. The motel bar/restaurant is a charming place where you can enjoy $1.50 - 3.00 beers (are we in Red Deer?!) and has no intention of observing the smoking ban that's been facetiously posted on the wall.

After driving out in the rain the night before, we were blessed with sun and blue skies the following day. The beaches are gorgeous in Montauk, long and misty, straight out of a Long Island postcard. They were only sprinkled with a few visitors at this time of year.

We went up to the lighthouse where the ticket sales agent said to the patrons ahead of us that "you can only get a discount on your ticket if you're, retired or retarded or somethin" in her finest LI accent. After enjoying the view from the top and gettin our learn on about the lighthouse's history and how the Euros tricked the Montaukett aboriginals into giving up their land, we spent some time envying the surfers shralpin the point break at the bottom of the cliffs.

What's a weekend getaway without some conspiracy theorizing? We went out to the site of the alleged Montauk Project, an old abandoned military base where subjects were supposedly, um, subjected to psychological testing in hopes of developing a psychological war weapon. We even met a local named Mike that proclaimed, "I was shrunk by the Montauk Project!". Aside from making a great tee shirt, we didn't think much of what he said. After going through the chain link fence that prohibited us from going through it:

we walked through some tick infested brush to get to the decommissioned radar tower that admittedly did have an eerie air about it. The nearby 1800s schoolhouse type structures were also creepy with their cemented doors and windows. There was a car circling the restricted area which got us (maybe just me) a little scared that we were going to be apprehended for our trespassing and become those military subjects I mentioned earlier, but then we came to realize it was just a grey haired couple in a Sebring and they were probably just lost.

Then we went to the Lobster Roll for dinner where Thomas showed off his Lobster-eating accoutrements:

The next morning we went to John's pancake house where they claimed to have daily homemade doughnuts that looked neither fresh nor homemade. Breakfast was good though, but then Thomas began to show signs of deterioration. I don't know if it was the radiation from the radar tower or what, but within an hour, Thomas was clinging for dear life and that's when the vacation was over for him. But the rest of us continued to enjoy ourselves and took to the beach for some picnicing and Sunday Times puzzling.

After one last look out to sea, we drove back to Ronkonkoma, dropped off the car and rolled Thomas' cold body onto the train back to reality. What a blissful weekend in Montauk! A big thank you to Morgan for making one of the best weekends of the year happen!

Mysterious Lederhosen

2007-10-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

Our friend Thomas has a knack for appearing in photographs to be wearing lederhosen. Judge for yourself. Though born in Europe and admittedly fond of knee socks, Thomas has never touched lederhosen ("no, never" he insists). Weird!

Final note: though purely speculative, a connection has been offered between these lederhosen sightings and the rise and fall of the Canadian dollar. We will continue to publish these photos as they appear, but as with all financial tips, invest at your own risk.

East Harlem Adventure

2007-10-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

Our first attempt to get to East Harlem landed us in Queens. We caught the M60 bus on 125th but didn't get off at 2nd ave like we were supposed to. This will cost you a trip over the Triborough Bridge into Queens! And a trip back to the tune of 1.5 hours, which, needless to say, only stoked our appetite for adventure. Such an elusive neighborhood must hold great rewards! After making our way back to East Harlem, we trekked down to 117th and 1st ave where we took in the sights and felt right at home:

First stop was Everything Must Go, a skate shop with a killer selection of old school Stussy tees among other tasty apparel like Claw Money and Clae shoes (they're back finally!).

Finding ourselves famished, we walked two doors down to Patsy's, famous for their coal-fired brick oven made pizzas. This is the original location of the Grimaldi family pizzeria, with the second location in DUMBO under the name Grimaldi's. Having DONE Grimaldi's earlier this summer...

...we were eager to weigh in on this famous family feud. We couldn't tell which one is better...they're both pretty damn good pies. We're Canadian anyway, what do we know about cuisine? However, we do know a little about enviro-stuff and their eco-rating suffered as we were served our drinks in disposable plastic cups. Still, it was a treat to spend an hour in the authentic 'no frills' environment of this great family pizzeria as-yet unknown to tourist hordes (just wait for the 2nd Avenue Subway!!). Overall, totally worth the trip.

Next on the agenda (actually the only item on it) was finding yellow laces for some recently acquired sneakers. Funnily enough, everyone we asked pointed us to a different beauty supply store and sure enough, every beauty supply store we popped into carried a vast selection of colored laces. In this neighborhood, evidently, shoelaces fall in the domain of "beauty supplies"! Although we didn't find the colour we wanted, we did pick up a pair of black (and beautiful) laces. It was an interesting discovery nonetheless.

Having exhausted our "agenda" we wandered for a bit before stumbling on a total gem of a bodega. Called El Barrio Meat Market on the corner of 116th Street and 2nd Ave, it has a juice bar window shaded by a bamboo screen. $4 buys you an amazing smoothie with your choice of sweetener (honey or sugar), your choice of milk, and an assortment of accoutrements like granola and whey or soy proteins. Smell ya later Jamba Juice! Ya!

We couldn't have spent the day a better way, our trip to East Harlem (and Queens, a bit) was a total success!

Happy Japaneaster!

2007-04-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

We made two new Yakitori Taisho inspired words today: Japaneaster which is what one celebrates when a patron of Yakitori Taisho on Easter, and Investigatori Taisho which is the activity one engages in when checking out alternatives on St. Marks while waiting in line for Yakitori Taisho.

Grindhouse Review

2007-04-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

A pair of dudes walked out in the first 20 minutes complaining about wasting their money, a guy directly behind us was sent into an epileptic seizure, and there was frequent applause throughout. Flee, seize or celebrate. You draw your own conclusions.

Fun for a Buck

2007-04-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

Next time you find a hot peso burning a hole in your bolsa, come on up to Broadway / 145th. Not since the early settlers traded smallpox for waterfront property has it been possible to get so much for so little! For one dollar you may choose between:

• a piping hot tamale sold fresh at the top of the subway stairs
• a refreshing glass of horchata (Mexican rice-milk spiced so nice)
• four pieces of artery-clogging fried dough powdered with sugar
• a cup of jello/pudding mix (choose from two flavours; vanilla and pink)
• a warm Jamaican beef or veggie patty
• or (and this is my personal favourite) a cup of Dominican-style oatmeal which is really more of a sticky, sweet, warm, thick drink than the usual pot of orphan's gruel.

Oh, and in the summer there's flavoured ice shaved right from the block, citrus fruits carved and mounted on pointy sticks, and, if you're white like some of us, you're guaranteed a refreshing fire hydrant shower if you walk past the children who rule 144th Street. The subway trip will be the most expensive part of your day!

Mighty Torso

2007-04-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

Best pickup line overheard: In a crowded bar, Alice squeezed by a rather large fellow (think Asian version of Bloodsport's Ray Jackson) who looked her up and down and said "Feel that, oh yea, I have a mighty torso." Encouraged by her guffaw, he followed up by shouting the length of the bar: "Myspace! Jackson777... JackSUN like sun is shining!" By the end of the night he had a very red face. When we left, we had to again squeeze by him and I was worried he would resume his courtship, but at this point he was leaning on the bar, massaging his eyes with his fists, ready for bed.